Attitude

ATTITUDE – A brief note

The Oxford Dictionary describes ATTITUDE as:

A way of thinking or feeling about someone or something

A position of the body

Informal,

Self-confident or uncooperative behaviour.

Attitude comes into play at home, college, with friends and strangers. This brief note is to help students develop and improve their attitude. Attitude at times is transitory and this note is to ensure that good and right attitude is always maintained.

The six most important words                        : I admit I made a mistake

                                                                        : I appreciate what you are saying

The five most important words                       : YOU did a good job

                                                                        : You made a wise decision   

The four most important words                      : What is YOUR opinion?

                                                                        : I appreciate your opinion

The three most important words                     : If YOU please

                                                                        : You are right

The two most important words                       : Thank you

                                                                        : Yes, and

Single most important word                            : YOU

The next most important single word             : We

The least important single word                      : I

A close look at the above would reflect the person’s interaction with others. The more and more the above words are used by a person would lead him to an unassailable winning position in whatever he does. This takes us to look who is a winner.

The WINNER is always a part of the answer,

The Loser is always a part of the problem.

The WINNER always has a reason to do what needs to be done,

The Loser always has an excuse for not doing what is to be done.

The Winner says “ Let me help you do it “,

The Loser says, ‘Can you do it for me’.

The Winner seeks an answer to every problem,

The Loser sees a problem in every answer.

Winners are part of the team,

Losers are apart from the team.

Winners choose what they say;            ( Wise men talk as they have something to say,

Losers say what they choose.                And the fool talk as he want to say something

                                                                ------ Plato -----)

Winners make it happen; Losers let it happen.

Winners make commitments; Losers make promises.

The Winner says, “ it may be difficult, but it is possible”

The loser says, “ it may be possible, but it is too difficult”.

           

Attitude also reflects on body language and behaviour. The behaviour of a person stems from two consequential feelings.

The positive oriented and the negative oriented. This can be summarised as under:

i.              Those who make things happen.

ii.             Those who watch things happen.

iii.            Those who wonder what happened.

iv.           Those who don’t know that anything had happened.

The first two categories have positive orientation but with difference. The third category though falls under the negative orientation can be moulded and changed into a positive orientated person. The last category is the extreme negative oriented person and any amount of efforts cannot change their attitude. Their being in the midst of a group or a team is disastrous.

The positive oriented person exhibits the following traits:

i.              Enthusiasm

ii.             Purpose

iii.            Discipline

iv.           Determination

v.            Willingness to work

vi.           Appreciation of others

vii.          Serve and learn.

The three major traits that affect a negative oriented person are:

i.              Physical

ii.             Emotional

iii.            Personal

To identify whether one is a positive oriented person or negative oriented person, it would be nice to make one’s own SWOT analysis.

Some of the strengths exhibited are:

i.              Trusting own ability and keeping emotions under control

ii.             Feeling at home in new situations and respecting others irrespective of age

iii.            Accepting responsibility and discharging satisfactorily.

iv.           Exhibiting a confidence, that, I CAN DO IT.

As against the above some of the weaknesses exhibited are:

i.              Feeling depressed at the slightest failure and giving up the task at the first difficulty

ii.             Feeling uncomfortable in the midst of others and refusing to accept any responsibility.

iii.            Depending on others and putting the blame for any failure on other persons

iv.           Being diffident in familiar situations and developing a feeling that others are avoiding him.

The opportunity doesn’t come on its own, and one has to create his own and seize the same.

“Opportunity comes but once in a life time; the wise man grabs it, the fool lets it go”

Making friends and not enemies, and seeing the good in other people rather than the bad would go a long way in creating opportunities.

The major threats that affect one’s behaviour are:

i.              Avarice

ii.             Ambition

iii.            Envy

iv.           Anger

v.            Pride

The behaviour of a person can again be grouped under three different categories:

Aggressive: The three reasons for aggressive behaviour are:

i.              Physical factors

ii.             Emotional factors

iii.            Environmental factors

Aggressive behaviour may be the main character of the person, or at many times a sudden individual act provoked by circumstances like the ‘last straw that broke the camel’s back’. Aggression leads to fear, lack of self-esteem, and inability to control a situation in any other different way.

Avoidance: The three factors that are responsible for the behaviour of avoidance are:

i.              Social

ii.             Genetic

iii.            Psychological

iv.           Shyness

This behaviour is to evade confrontation and avoid uncomfortable situations. The behaviour is also sometimes used as an escape mechanism during feelings of anxiety and pain. This behaviour exhibits the following traits in a person.

i.              Apologetic

ii.             Feel guilty while saying no and keeping quiet for the sake of peace

iii.            Creating stress for self and ending unhappy not knowing how to express self.

iv.           Indecisive.

Assertive: Assertive behaviour exhibits a sense of involvement with others and appreciating their efforts. While asserting the rights and beliefs, it opens up a nice communication channel to resolve problems and to communicate both the positive and negative in a cordial atmosphere. The major advantages of an assertive behaviour are:

i.              Development of mutual respect with others.

ii.             Increase of self esteem

iii.            Helps in achieving goals

iv.           Minimize hurting and alienating people

v.            Reduces anxiety

vi.           Prevent others from taking undue advantage

vii.          Helps to express both verbally and non-verbally wide range of thoughts and feelings both positive and negative.

The following are the factors that contribute to assertiveness:

i.              Eye contact

ii.             Body language

iii.            Gestures

iv.           Voice

v.            Timing

vi.           Content

Body Language:  Some of the essentials of body language that play an active role in a person’s attitude are:

Not to cross arms and legs – This shows a defensive or guarded approach

Have eye contact without staring – Giving no eye contact would make you seem insecure

Take up some space and relax your shoulders but don’t slouch – In other words sit erect and comfortable with loosened up shoulders

Nod when others are talking – This conveys that you are listening. Don’t overdo like a Woodpecker

Smile and Laugh – Smile when something funny is said. But, don’t laugh at your own jokes that would show you as nervous and needy. Smile when somebody is introduced to you, but don’t keep the smile always plastered on your face; that would make you insincere.

Don’t fidget – All types of fidgeting would expose you as a nervous person.

Don’t stand too close – Allow people to have their personal space. Don’t make them feel that you are invading

Keep a good attitude – Finally keep always a positive, relaxed and open attitude.

                                           

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